Entry #16

"I had already pulled the pin on a grenade. I had come up to a crouch. It was entirely automatic. I did not hate the young man; I did not see him as the enemy; I did not ponder issues of morality or politics or military duty. I crouched and kept my head low. I tried to swallow whatever was rising from my stomach, which tasted like lemonade, something fruity and sour. I was terrified" (page 126).

When I read this quote, I wonder if this was O'Brien's first kill, his last kill, or maybe just one where he saw his victim up close and personal. The other men found it to be odd that he was acting the way he did after he killed the man. It was war they would say. But does war really make up for the fact that men on both sides are being massacred because they're governments can't work things out? Men are turned trained to be animals before they go to war and in some countries, they are trained from a young age. They are told to go out for the kill and not to think twice about it or even look back. O'Brien did not do this; he acted like a true human being and grieved for the other HUMAN BEING he had killed. He mourned for his fiance and his family and everything that young man might have become.

O'Brien killed this man out of instinct. He didn't do it for the normal reasons: hate, eminent danger, politics, or duties. He had been taught that the other person is a danger to him and this had been pushed into his brain so much that killing had become automatic. I think that often times, people get into the routines of life and they too begin to do things because it comes automatic to them. We need to open our eyes to life and not always follow what comes naturally. O'Brien is a perfect example to that. He did what came automatically to him, and this only brought him a life time of pain, regret, and agony.