"I'm young and happy. I'll never die. I'm skimming across the surface of my own history, moving fast, riding the melt beneath the blades, doing loops and spins, and when I take a high leap into the dark and come down thrity years later, I realize it is as Tim trying to save Timmy's life with a story" (page 233).
Through his stories and dreams, Tim O'Brien can change any story. He can make it into what he wants to believe. In his imagination, everything is perfect. He can bring any back to life so he can spend a little more time with them. He can pretend that they are not dead.
I think in a way, we all have our own ways at pretending that bad things don't happen and haven't happened. It's a coping tool. In his stories, O'Brien showed how many people coped, but this wasn't for him. I think that his last few sentences in the book are him saying that in his stories, he can make himself whatever he wants to be. He can change his childhood and his past to save himself from all the pain.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Entry #19
"'That old man,' she said, 'is he mad at you or something?' 'I hope not.' He looks mad.' 'No,' I said. 'All that's finished'" (page 179).
When O'Brien goes back to where his friend Kiowa was killed with his daughter, there are 2 farmers close by. His daughter notices that one of the men looks angry. To me, this sounds like the man is holding some kind of grudge. Maybe against Americans or maybe just personally against O'Brien. To me it seems ridiculous. The war had been over for some time and this man is still angry. Possibly his father or brother or son was killed in the war. Or possibly he just knows that the Americans reaped havoc on his country and for this he refuses to forgive them.
Grudges are part of human life. Everyone holds them at some point in time and they do nothing but hurt us. They ruin friendships and families, start wars and feuds. A grudge can be some one's downfall. Any grudge, big or small is not worth the consequences of such hate.
When O'Brien goes back to where his friend Kiowa was killed with his daughter, there are 2 farmers close by. His daughter notices that one of the men looks angry. To me, this sounds like the man is holding some kind of grudge. Maybe against Americans or maybe just personally against O'Brien. To me it seems ridiculous. The war had been over for some time and this man is still angry. Possibly his father or brother or son was killed in the war. Or possibly he just knows that the Americans reaped havoc on his country and for this he refuses to forgive them.
Grudges are part of human life. Everyone holds them at some point in time and they do nothing but hurt us. They ruin friendships and families, start wars and feuds. A grudge can be some one's downfall. Any grudge, big or small is not worth the consequences of such hate.
Entry #18
Protagonist- "In the interests of truth, however, I want to make it clear that Norman Bowker was in no way responsible for what happened to Kiowa. Norman did not experience a failure of nerve that night. He did not freeze up or lose the Silver Star for valor. That part of the story is my own" (page 154).
At the beginning of the novel, it seemed that Lieutenant Jimmy Cross was going to be the protagonist, but as the novel went on, it became clear that it was Tim O'Brien. He tells stories from his vantage point, but also that of other men he fought with. It seems that his flaw is just being human. He makes mistakes like when he couldn't save Kiowa in the stink field, but he blames himself for these accidents.
If you ask me, I don't believe O'Brien was at fault for Kiowa's death. While he may have been with Kiowa at the time, he couldn't have done anything to save him. Naturally, he blamed himself for this and I believe this is a flaw all humans have. We blame ourselves for things that couldn't have been stopped and the guilt often stays with us. This could be any one's downfall.
At the beginning of the novel, it seemed that Lieutenant Jimmy Cross was going to be the protagonist, but as the novel went on, it became clear that it was Tim O'Brien. He tells stories from his vantage point, but also that of other men he fought with. It seems that his flaw is just being human. He makes mistakes like when he couldn't save Kiowa in the stink field, but he blames himself for these accidents.
If you ask me, I don't believe O'Brien was at fault for Kiowa's death. While he may have been with Kiowa at the time, he couldn't have done anything to save him. Naturally, he blamed himself for this and I believe this is a flaw all humans have. We blame ourselves for things that couldn't have been stopped and the guilt often stays with us. This could be any one's downfall.
Entry #17
'"The thing is,' he wrote 'there's no place to go. Not just in this lousy little town. In general. My life, I mean. It's almost like I got killed over in Nam... Hard to describe. That night when Kiowa got wasted, I sort of sank down into the sewage with him... Feels like I'm still in deep shit'" (page 150)
War is selfish! It takes and steals from everyone who is involved: the men and woman fighting and the countries. And what does it give back? Nothing, except maybe the assurance that your country won, but don't forget about the thousands of men who died for this victory and the thousands more who were killed.
It seems odd to me how war affects everyone differently. For O'Brien, he came back and it was almost like nothing had happened. He went on to grad school at Harvard like he had originally planned and seldom told stories about the war, except through his writing. For Norman Bowker, the war was the end of him. It took parts of him that he never got back. I think that Norman's story seems more realistic than O'Brien's because I couldn't see many people just getting over such a traumatic experience.
War is selfish! It takes and steals from everyone who is involved: the men and woman fighting and the countries. And what does it give back? Nothing, except maybe the assurance that your country won, but don't forget about the thousands of men who died for this victory and the thousands more who were killed.
It seems odd to me how war affects everyone differently. For O'Brien, he came back and it was almost like nothing had happened. He went on to grad school at Harvard like he had originally planned and seldom told stories about the war, except through his writing. For Norman Bowker, the war was the end of him. It took parts of him that he never got back. I think that Norman's story seems more realistic than O'Brien's because I couldn't see many people just getting over such a traumatic experience.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Entry #16
"I had already pulled the pin on a grenade. I had come up to a crouch. It was entirely automatic. I did not hate the young man; I did not see him as the enemy; I did not ponder issues of morality or politics or military duty. I crouched and kept my head low. I tried to swallow whatever was rising from my stomach, which tasted like lemonade, something fruity and sour. I was terrified" (page 126).
When I read this quote, I wonder if this was O'Brien's first kill, his last kill, or maybe just one where he saw his victim up close and personal. The other men found it to be odd that he was acting the way he did after he killed the man. It was war they would say. But does war really make up for the fact that men on both sides are being massacred because they're governments can't work things out? Men are turned trained to be animals before they go to war and in some countries, they are trained from a young age. They are told to go out for the kill and not to think twice about it or even look back. O'Brien did not do this; he acted like a true human being and grieved for the other HUMAN BEING he had killed. He mourned for his fiance and his family and everything that young man might have become.
O'Brien killed this man out of instinct. He didn't do it for the normal reasons: hate, eminent danger, politics, or duties. He had been taught that the other person is a danger to him and this had been pushed into his brain so much that killing had become automatic. I think that often times, people get into the routines of life and they too begin to do things because it comes automatic to them. We need to open our eyes to life and not always follow what comes naturally. O'Brien is a perfect example to that. He did what came automatically to him, and this only brought him a life time of pain, regret, and agony.
When I read this quote, I wonder if this was O'Brien's first kill, his last kill, or maybe just one where he saw his victim up close and personal. The other men found it to be odd that he was acting the way he did after he killed the man. It was war they would say. But does war really make up for the fact that men on both sides are being massacred because they're governments can't work things out? Men are turned trained to be animals before they go to war and in some countries, they are trained from a young age. They are told to go out for the kill and not to think twice about it or even look back. O'Brien did not do this; he acted like a true human being and grieved for the other HUMAN BEING he had killed. He mourned for his fiance and his family and everything that young man might have become.
O'Brien killed this man out of instinct. He didn't do it for the normal reasons: hate, eminent danger, politics, or duties. He had been taught that the other person is a danger to him and this had been pushed into his brain so much that killing had become automatic. I think that often times, people get into the routines of life and they too begin to do things because it comes automatic to them. We need to open our eyes to life and not always follow what comes naturally. O'Brien is a perfect example to that. He did what came automatically to him, and this only brought him a life time of pain, regret, and agony.
Entry #15
Allusion- "'Tim it's a war. The guy wasn't Heidi- he had a weapon, right? It's a tough thing, for sure, but you got to cut out that staring'" (page 120).
When O'Brien killed a man and then saw the same man he killed, he went into shock. He kept staring at the man and his buddy, Kiowa is trying to comfort him here. He throws in the allusion to Heidi in order to point out that the man wasn't an innocent bystander or a young child. The man was coming to kill O'Brien and the other men and he only did what he had to do, but the guilt is still too much for him.
This quote shows how truly difficult the war was on the men who were fighting it. They had to see the terror they were reaping on others and although some acted like it was no big deal, it was. They knew that it was at any moment they fired their weapons they were choosing a persons fate. These men were basically playing God, choosing who would die and who would live. The only difference was that if they didn't choose correctly, it was their own life at stake.
When O'Brien killed a man and then saw the same man he killed, he went into shock. He kept staring at the man and his buddy, Kiowa is trying to comfort him here. He throws in the allusion to Heidi in order to point out that the man wasn't an innocent bystander or a young child. The man was coming to kill O'Brien and the other men and he only did what he had to do, but the guilt is still too much for him.
This quote shows how truly difficult the war was on the men who were fighting it. They had to see the terror they were reaping on others and although some acted like it was no big deal, it was. They knew that it was at any moment they fired their weapons they were choosing a persons fate. These men were basically playing God, choosing who would die and who would live. The only difference was that if they didn't choose correctly, it was their own life at stake.
Entry #14
"I was a kid. The thing is, I believed in God and all that, but it wasn't the religious part that interested me. Just being nice to people that's all. Being decent" (page 115).
Here, Henry Dobbins is talking to Kiowa about his interest in becoming a minister. His only reasoning for wanting to follow this career choice is so that he can be nice and decent to people. To me it seems that he is saying that he wants to do the opposite of what he was currently doing. He was out killing and massacring people in Vietnam and all he really wanted to do in life was be nice and decent.
I think that his short break at the church in Vietnam was a good chance for him to do this. He was able to spend time with two monks who had dedicated their lives to doing just that. I think that many people go into professions wanting to help people or just simply be decent to people, but somewhere along the way, possibly in the search for money, fame, or success, we lose our way. Wouldn't our world be a better place if everyone just went out everyday in an attempt to be nice and decent? Lives would be spared and war would be diminished just because we were civil and decent to one another. It might just be me, but this idea doesn't seem so far-fetched. I don't find anything difficult with just being decent.
Here, Henry Dobbins is talking to Kiowa about his interest in becoming a minister. His only reasoning for wanting to follow this career choice is so that he can be nice and decent to people. To me it seems that he is saying that he wants to do the opposite of what he was currently doing. He was out killing and massacring people in Vietnam and all he really wanted to do in life was be nice and decent.
I think that his short break at the church in Vietnam was a good chance for him to do this. He was able to spend time with two monks who had dedicated their lives to doing just that. I think that many people go into professions wanting to help people or just simply be decent to people, but somewhere along the way, possibly in the search for money, fame, or success, we lose our way. Wouldn't our world be a better place if everyone just went out everyday in an attempt to be nice and decent? Lives would be spared and war would be diminished just because we were civil and decent to one another. It might just be me, but this idea doesn't seem so far-fetched. I don't find anything difficult with just being decent.
Entry #13
"She wanted more, she wanted to penetrate deeper into the mystery of herself, and after a time the wanting became needing, which turned then to craving" (page 109).
Like Mary Anne, I think that many people's demise comes from want. We want people or objects or money or fame. Eventually, this want turns into all we can think about and eventually, it becomes the end of us. Take an addict for example, they want their drugs or alcohol and even though they know it will hurt or maybe even kill them, they still want it, or need it, or CRAVE it. Mary Anne's craving was a little more severe than just the everyday usual cravings. She craved the mystery of herself. I believe that she never knew what mankind and she was capable of until she fought alongside men in the war. She was naive and innocent like most 17 year olds were and still are. Her demise was craving knowledge and wanting to understand what she was capable of. She became so obsessed with this, that she left behind everything else. Mankind truly is a mystery and I don't think a person knows how they will react or behave until they are faced with a difficult situation like Mary Anne was.
Like Mary Anne, I think that many people's demise comes from want. We want people or objects or money or fame. Eventually, this want turns into all we can think about and eventually, it becomes the end of us. Take an addict for example, they want their drugs or alcohol and even though they know it will hurt or maybe even kill them, they still want it, or need it, or CRAVE it. Mary Anne's craving was a little more severe than just the everyday usual cravings. She craved the mystery of herself. I believe that she never knew what mankind and she was capable of until she fought alongside men in the war. She was naive and innocent like most 17 year olds were and still are. Her demise was craving knowledge and wanting to understand what she was capable of. She became so obsessed with this, that she left behind everything else. Mankind truly is a mystery and I don't think a person knows how they will react or behave until they are faced with a difficult situation like Mary Anne was.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Entry #12
Dynamic Character- "It was nearly three weeks before she returned. But in a sense she never returned. Not entirely, not all of her" (page 100).
At the beginning of Rat Kiley's story about Mary Anne Bell, he portrays her as a young bubbly kid. She was young when she arrived, only 17. She was in love and curious about the war and ready to learn. By the end of the story, she had changed. Her eyes were like the jungle Rat said. She was rough and no longer in love. She had become foreign to Mark Fossie and to everyone else. This was all caused by the war and what she had seen while out with the Special Forces. This all happened within the coarse of a few weeks. A young woman changed from "bubbly" and energetic to hard and fighting a war.
It is difficult to think that someone my age choose to go out and fight with a group of men. I could not even imagine going to Vietnam if I was in her position, let alone fighting in a foreign place. She was changed for good because of this and her youth would never be restored. Her character shows what war can do to someone, especially someone who is still a child themself. She was out killing people before she even had the right to vote, legally drink alcohol, legally smoke, or live on her own without an adult. It's sad to think that someone who is not even technically an adult was out fighting for our freedom. Although her story may not have been 100% true, there were many young men around the age of 18 who were fighting for our freedom. These people have been changed forever because of a war. A part of Mary Anne was taken by the war, and she would never get it back.
At the beginning of Rat Kiley's story about Mary Anne Bell, he portrays her as a young bubbly kid. She was young when she arrived, only 17. She was in love and curious about the war and ready to learn. By the end of the story, she had changed. Her eyes were like the jungle Rat said. She was rough and no longer in love. She had become foreign to Mark Fossie and to everyone else. This was all caused by the war and what she had seen while out with the Special Forces. This all happened within the coarse of a few weeks. A young woman changed from "bubbly" and energetic to hard and fighting a war.
It is difficult to think that someone my age choose to go out and fight with a group of men. I could not even imagine going to Vietnam if I was in her position, let alone fighting in a foreign place. She was changed for good because of this and her youth would never be restored. Her character shows what war can do to someone, especially someone who is still a child themself. She was out killing people before she even had the right to vote, legally drink alcohol, legally smoke, or live on her own without an adult. It's sad to think that someone who is not even technically an adult was out fighting for our freedom. Although her story may not have been 100% true, there were many young men around the age of 18 who were fighting for our freedom. These people have been changed forever because of a war. A part of Mary Anne was taken by the war, and she would never get it back.
Entry #11
foreshadowing- "Mary Anne Bell and Mark Fossie had been sweethearts since grammar school... They were very much in love, full of dreams, and in the ordinary flow of their lives the whole scenario might well have come true" (page 90).
At the end of Rat's description about Mary Anne and Mark's relationship he gives the reader a hint about what is to come. By saying "might well have come true," he is telling the listener that in the end, their dreams will not come true. Although he does not tell exactly how their love will end he does hint at it. He leaves the listener wondering what exactly will happen to this couple whom seemed destined for forever. Will it be death, betrayal, or just the devistation of war?
He also tells the reader that war can change everything. If it weren't for war, he and his love would have ended up together. It is sad to think that if Fossie hadn't been sent to Vietnam his life could have taken a whole different path. He could have ended up with his high school sweetheart, been spared the pain and suffering of war, possibly have had kids and grandkids. One difference in his life and everything would have changed. It makes me wonder how decisions I make change my life and others.
At the end of Rat's description about Mary Anne and Mark's relationship he gives the reader a hint about what is to come. By saying "might well have come true," he is telling the listener that in the end, their dreams will not come true. Although he does not tell exactly how their love will end he does hint at it. He leaves the listener wondering what exactly will happen to this couple whom seemed destined for forever. Will it be death, betrayal, or just the devistation of war?
He also tells the reader that war can change everything. If it weren't for war, he and his love would have ended up together. It is sad to think that if Fossie hadn't been sent to Vietnam his life could have taken a whole different path. He could have ended up with his high school sweetheart, been spared the pain and suffering of war, possibly have had kids and grandkids. One difference in his life and everything would have changed. It makes me wonder how decisions I make change my life and others.
Entry #10- half way done!!
Page 80 & 81-(last paragraph on 80 to end of 81)
Okay so now I'm confused! Are the stories O'Brien was telling all lies? Or were some of the details just exaggerations? I was thinking that maybe he is saying that when a woman or listener doesn't understand and says she likes the story, that is when he will tell her it was all a lie. He says that if someone likes the story then they weren't listening. He wants them to hear his love story, not the war story, but the war story is what he is telling. And what does he mean by "the real truth" on page 81? What is the "real truth"? Hopefully O'Brien will explain what he means in greater detail cause I don't like being confused! If anyone knows then please fill me in!
Okay so now I'm confused! Are the stories O'Brien was telling all lies? Or were some of the details just exaggerations? I was thinking that maybe he is saying that when a woman or listener doesn't understand and says she likes the story, that is when he will tell her it was all a lie. He says that if someone likes the story then they weren't listening. He wants them to hear his love story, not the war story, but the war story is what he is telling. And what does he mean by "the real truth" on page 81? What is the "real truth"? Hopefully O'Brien will explain what he means in greater detail cause I don't like being confused! If anyone knows then please fill me in!
Entry #9
parallel structure- "War is hell, but that's not the half of it, because war is also mystery and terror and adventure and courage and discovery and holiness and pity and despair and longing and love. War is nasty; war is fun. War is thrilling; war is drudgery. War makes you a man; war makes you dead" (page 76).
O'Brien uses an abundance of parallelism here. He uses this in order to show all of the contrasting facts of war. By using this he shows that stories that generalize about war are obviously not true because there is so much to war and so many facts about war that it is impossible to really convey it when generalizing.
I think that all of the contrasting explanations he gives of war are confusing but also extremely true. Especially when he says "war makes you a man; war makes you dead." While war often makes a boy a man, it is also the demise of him. This is sad to think about because many soldiers became so much and matured because of the war, but then they were murdered before they even had a chance to really live. This makes me think that we are lucky to have the freedom we have been given. It also makes me happy that I have been given time to grow up and have not been forced to like these soldiers were.
O'Brien uses an abundance of parallelism here. He uses this in order to show all of the contrasting facts of war. By using this he shows that stories that generalize about war are obviously not true because there is so much to war and so many facts about war that it is impossible to really convey it when generalizing.
I think that all of the contrasting explanations he gives of war are confusing but also extremely true. Especially when he says "war makes you a man; war makes you dead." While war often makes a boy a man, it is also the demise of him. This is sad to think about because many soldiers became so much and matured because of the war, but then they were murdered before they even had a chance to really live. This makes me think that we are lucky to have the freedom we have been given. It also makes me happy that I have been given time to grow up and have not been forced to like these soldiers were.
Entry #8
"You can tell a true war story by the way it never seems to end. Not then, not ever" (page 72).
O'Brien is attempting to teach the reader how to tell a true war story from a fake one. Although there may be some truth in all war stories, most over-exaggerate. I believe that this statement is not really an instruction to the reader for how to tell if a war story is real, but is more of the way he feels about war stories. He is telling the reader that the things he experienced while in Vietnam have stayed with him since the moment they happened. He has been permanently scarred because of events he experienced.
When I hear about veterans who have been emotionally disturbed since they returned from war, I feel sorry for them, but sometimes don't understand it. Once i read some of O'Brien's stories and really let them sink in, there is no doubt in my mind why these men are so scarred from war. I think it would be abnormal if a person returned from war and did not have stories and events that stuck with them for the rest of their lives. For me, it is difficult to read about these stories. I can't imagine what it would be like to actually experience them!
O'Brien is attempting to teach the reader how to tell a true war story from a fake one. Although there may be some truth in all war stories, most over-exaggerate. I believe that this statement is not really an instruction to the reader for how to tell if a war story is real, but is more of the way he feels about war stories. He is telling the reader that the things he experienced while in Vietnam have stayed with him since the moment they happened. He has been permanently scarred because of events he experienced.
When I hear about veterans who have been emotionally disturbed since they returned from war, I feel sorry for them, but sometimes don't understand it. Once i read some of O'Brien's stories and really let them sink in, there is no doubt in my mind why these men are so scarred from war. I think it would be abnormal if a person returned from war and did not have stories and events that stuck with them for the rest of their lives. For me, it is difficult to read about these stories. I can't imagine what it would be like to actually experience them!
Entry #7
Juxtapostion- "I survived, but its not a happy ending. I was a coward. I went to the war" (page 58).
Before addressing this quote, I'd like to point out that this book is told by a first person point of view. At the beginning, it seemed unclear as to whom exactly was telling the story, but as the story progressed, it was made clear that O'Brien was one of the soldiers, retelling the story many years later. By hearing first hand accounts of the war, it brings it to life in front of the readers eyes.
Okay now onto the quote. This caught my attention because you would think that if a person survives it would be a happy ending. This is not so for O'Brien. He is disappointed with himself because he believes that he is a coward for going to the war. To me, both of these statements are completely contradictory. I believe that by going to the war, he was brave. No person who goes into the unkown, knowing that at any minute they could be killed, is definetly NOT a coward! While he may have been a coward when it came to running away from his fears, he is one person i greatly respect and believe to be extremly brave.
Before addressing this quote, I'd like to point out that this book is told by a first person point of view. At the beginning, it seemed unclear as to whom exactly was telling the story, but as the story progressed, it was made clear that O'Brien was one of the soldiers, retelling the story many years later. By hearing first hand accounts of the war, it brings it to life in front of the readers eyes.
Okay now onto the quote. This caught my attention because you would think that if a person survives it would be a happy ending. This is not so for O'Brien. He is disappointed with himself because he believes that he is a coward for going to the war. To me, both of these statements are completely contradictory. I believe that by going to the war, he was brave. No person who goes into the unkown, knowing that at any minute they could be killed, is definetly NOT a coward! While he may have been a coward when it came to running away from his fears, he is one person i greatly respect and believe to be extremly brave.
Entry #6
Rhetorical Questions- "What would you do? Would you jump? Would you feel pity for yourself? Would you think about your family and your childhood and your dreams and all you're leaving behind? Would it hurt? Would it feel like dying? Would you cry, as I did?" (page 54)
Okay so that's a lot of rhetorical questions. O'Brien was given the chance to run away. He had the opportunity to make the decision for himself instead of letting his government and the draft make it for him. He could have started over and lived his life how HE wanted to, but he was choked with all of these feelings and this huge decision.
I think he asks these questions so that the reader can better understand all of the decisions that were facing him. It makes the reader put themselves in his position and think about all of the feelings and emotions he was facing. He knew that if he chose to leave, he would be letting down everyone. On page 55 and 56, he begins looking back on his past and names off a list of people who he "sees" on the other shore. Ironically, these are all of the people he will also be fighting for or letting down if he does not fight. He feels the pressure and weight on his shoulders, making his decision even harder. Could you imagine a weight that strong? That is what he is asking the reader.
I believe that if faced with the same decision, I would choke just as he did. I would be too afraid to run away.I would worry about what others would think and yes, I would most definitely cry.
Okay so that's a lot of rhetorical questions. O'Brien was given the chance to run away. He had the opportunity to make the decision for himself instead of letting his government and the draft make it for him. He could have started over and lived his life how HE wanted to, but he was choked with all of these feelings and this huge decision.
I think he asks these questions so that the reader can better understand all of the decisions that were facing him. It makes the reader put themselves in his position and think about all of the feelings and emotions he was facing. He knew that if he chose to leave, he would be letting down everyone. On page 55 and 56, he begins looking back on his past and names off a list of people who he "sees" on the other shore. Ironically, these are all of the people he will also be fighting for or letting down if he does not fight. He feels the pressure and weight on his shoulders, making his decision even harder. Could you imagine a weight that strong? That is what he is asking the reader.
I believe that if faced with the same decision, I would choke just as he did. I would be too afraid to run away.I would worry about what others would think and yes, I would most definitely cry.
Entry #5
"My conscience told me to run, but some irrational and powerful force was resisting, like a weight pushing me toward the war. What it came down to, stupidly, was a sense of shame. hot, stupid shame. I did not want people to think badly of me... I was ashamed of my conscience, ashamed to be doing the right thing." (page 49)
How often, do we ignore our conscience? Everyone has done it at some point in time. That little voice telling you to not fight with a friend, to help the homeless man on the side of the street, or to stop speaking badly of people. Well in O'Brien's case, his conscience was telling him to run. To run to Canada and not look back. He knew from the moment he received his draft that he wasn't meant for war; he was "too smart, too compassionate, too everything" (page 39).
Eventually, he turned against his conscience because of what other people would think of him. This is another action that we are all guilty of at some point in time. I know that I have personally made decisions based on what I thought other people would think of me and if you ask me, this is ridiculous. Decisions should be made because we want to make them, not because someone else wants or expects us to. O'Brien made what may have been the biggest decision of his life because of shame and what others would think. He was ashamed to have feelings and to do what he believed to be the right thing.
How often, do we ignore our conscience? Everyone has done it at some point in time. That little voice telling you to not fight with a friend, to help the homeless man on the side of the street, or to stop speaking badly of people. Well in O'Brien's case, his conscience was telling him to run. To run to Canada and not look back. He knew from the moment he received his draft that he wasn't meant for war; he was "too smart, too compassionate, too everything" (page 39).
Eventually, he turned against his conscience because of what other people would think of him. This is another action that we are all guilty of at some point in time. I know that I have personally made decisions based on what I thought other people would think of me and if you ask me, this is ridiculous. Decisions should be made because we want to make them, not because someone else wants or expects us to. O'Brien made what may have been the biggest decision of his life because of shame and what others would think. He was ashamed to have feelings and to do what he believed to be the right thing.
Entry #4
"You knew where you stood. You knew the score. The pieces were out on the board, the enemy was visible, you could watch the tactics unfolding into larger strategies. there was a winner and a loser. There were rules." (page 31)
To O'Brien and the other men, a simple fame of checkers was "restful" to them. It was the exact opposite of war in that there were no surprises. You knew where you were and where your enemy was. There was a definite beginning and end and the in between was orderly and clean, unlike war.
This was another thing that the men would carry in order to not only entertain them, but also reassure them. To think that such a small thing could help these men so much is dumbfounding. All they wanted was some order and something to reassure them that somewhere, things weren't how they were in Vietnam.
When I think about checkers, I also think that it is opposite from life in some ways too. In life, nothing is for sure. There aren't rules layed out or instructions on how to live you life. Although some people try to prepare you, nothing can really be done to ever prepare kids for what is to come. Things can change in the blink of an eye like they did for these men who were unexpectedly thrown into a war that they didn't even understand. After thinking about this, i don't think I'll ever be able to look at a game of checkers in the same way. It is one of few things that is trully set in stone.
To O'Brien and the other men, a simple fame of checkers was "restful" to them. It was the exact opposite of war in that there were no surprises. You knew where you were and where your enemy was. There was a definite beginning and end and the in between was orderly and clean, unlike war.
This was another thing that the men would carry in order to not only entertain them, but also reassure them. To think that such a small thing could help these men so much is dumbfounding. All they wanted was some order and something to reassure them that somewhere, things weren't how they were in Vietnam.
When I think about checkers, I also think that it is opposite from life in some ways too. In life, nothing is for sure. There aren't rules layed out or instructions on how to live you life. Although some people try to prepare you, nothing can really be done to ever prepare kids for what is to come. Things can change in the blink of an eye like they did for these men who were unexpectedly thrown into a war that they didn't even understand. After thinking about this, i don't think I'll ever be able to look at a game of checkers in the same way. It is one of few things that is trully set in stone.
Entry #3
Paradox, page 23- "He loved her but he hated her."
While this statement may seem contradictory, it does reveal a truth. When i first read this, I was thinking that it is impossible to love and hate a person at the same time, but then I started to ponder about it. Sometimes, a person does things that make you so angry with them and you swear that you will never talk to them again and yet you still go back. People on the outside will have their own opinions and they will think you are wrong, but for some reason, you hate this person for what they do but love them for who they are.
I believe that this is how Jimmy Cross feels about Martha. He loves the image he has of her and the way she makes him feel, but hates her for distracting him away from his work and causing him pain. This paradox is effective because every reader can relate to what he is feeling with this one statement. They know that while he is in love, he also feels a deep hate for her. In a way, it seems that he loves to hate her and hates to love her. His emotions are confused and instead of trying to work them out, he turns away from his fantasies and becomes a soldier again.
While this statement may seem contradictory, it does reveal a truth. When i first read this, I was thinking that it is impossible to love and hate a person at the same time, but then I started to ponder about it. Sometimes, a person does things that make you so angry with them and you swear that you will never talk to them again and yet you still go back. People on the outside will have their own opinions and they will think you are wrong, but for some reason, you hate this person for what they do but love them for who they are.
I believe that this is how Jimmy Cross feels about Martha. He loves the image he has of her and the way she makes him feel, but hates her for distracting him away from his work and causing him pain. This paradox is effective because every reader can relate to what he is feeling with this one statement. They know that while he is in love, he also feels a deep hate for her. In a way, it seems that he loves to hate her and hates to love her. His emotions are confused and instead of trying to work them out, he turns away from his fantasies and becomes a soldier again.
Entry #2
Page 15- "And for all the ambiguities of Vietnam, all the mysteries and unknowns, there was at least the single abiding certainty that they would never be at a loss for things to carry."
Okay so this FINALLY gives a closure to all of the lists. This quote seemed to catch my attention because with all of that randomness and lists of items (some that I didn't even know what they were) came a reason. These soldiers had no idea what was ahead of them when at war, but one thing they were sure of was what they had with them to protect them, comfort them, or entertain them. They also carried burdens and the knowledge that if they failed, they weren't just failing themselves, but also their families and country. The things they carried weren't just random items, they were what helped them make it through the war.
To think about not knowing if you will die at any second or on the other hand, knowing that you will kill or be killed is one experience that I am glad I don't have to face. I have a great respect for the men who have fought for our country over the years because without them I know we would not have what we have today. I also feel a sense of cowardness because I know they are doing things I couldn't even imagine in my wildest dreams.
Okay so this FINALLY gives a closure to all of the lists. This quote seemed to catch my attention because with all of that randomness and lists of items (some that I didn't even know what they were) came a reason. These soldiers had no idea what was ahead of them when at war, but one thing they were sure of was what they had with them to protect them, comfort them, or entertain them. They also carried burdens and the knowledge that if they failed, they weren't just failing themselves, but also their families and country. The things they carried weren't just random items, they were what helped them make it through the war.
To think about not knowing if you will die at any second or on the other hand, knowing that you will kill or be killed is one experience that I am glad I don't have to face. I have a great respect for the men who have fought for our country over the years because without them I know we would not have what we have today. I also feel a sense of cowardness because I know they are doing things I couldn't even imagine in my wildest dreams.
Entry # 1
Simile, page 6: "how the poor guy just dropped like so much concrete. Boom-down, he said. Like cement."
Alright so here I go first blog of the summer and now I have 2 days to get 20 blogs in and over 100 pages read before I leave! :)
The first chapter was interesting to say the least. I was worried at first that the whole entire book would be similar to the lists that were given in this chapter, but thank god it is not! So I did find something to write about by page 6. Kiowa is telling a story aout Ted Lavender and how when he was shot he was "like cement." This simile gives the reader an illusion so they can also see what Kiowa saw when his buddy Ted was shot. It gives the reader insight so they can also feel the sudden shock and death of Ted Lavender.
I think this simile is effective because if you imagine concrete or cement, you imagine something extremely heavy and lifeless. Like the cement, Lavender fell very heavily and I also believe that to the other men, he became lifeless in the blink of an eye. I also imagine that for Kiowa, it was easiest to imagine Lavender as a lifeless piece of cement than to look at his friend and see what he had become and to blame themselves like Lieutenant Cross had.
Alright so here I go first blog of the summer and now I have 2 days to get 20 blogs in and over 100 pages read before I leave! :)
The first chapter was interesting to say the least. I was worried at first that the whole entire book would be similar to the lists that were given in this chapter, but thank god it is not! So I did find something to write about by page 6. Kiowa is telling a story aout Ted Lavender and how when he was shot he was "like cement." This simile gives the reader an illusion so they can also see what Kiowa saw when his buddy Ted was shot. It gives the reader insight so they can also feel the sudden shock and death of Ted Lavender.
I think this simile is effective because if you imagine concrete or cement, you imagine something extremely heavy and lifeless. Like the cement, Lavender fell very heavily and I also believe that to the other men, he became lifeless in the blink of an eye. I also imagine that for Kiowa, it was easiest to imagine Lavender as a lifeless piece of cement than to look at his friend and see what he had become and to blame themselves like Lieutenant Cross had.
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